Authentic Relationships Can Help Young People Discover Their True Identity in Christ
Loneliness is a quiet but relentless challenge in today’s world.
Despite being more connected through technology than ever before, countless Americans are wrestling with a deep sense of isolation. A 2021 study from Harvard reports that 36% of all Americans — including a staggering 61% of young adults — experience what researchers describe as “serious loneliness.”
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For young girls, this loneliness can be particularly painful. As they navigate friendships and social dynamics, the messages they hear from culture only make things harder. Cancel culture tells them to abandon relationships rather than seek restoration and forgiveness. Social media amplifies curated, unrealistic portrayals of others’ lives, leaving them wondering if they measure up. And perhaps most concerning of all, society subtly — and sometimes overtly — suggests that feelings should define truth. When the enemy whispers in her ear that she is alone and unloved, the world often affirms it rather than pointing her toward the healing power of truth.
Not Good to Be Alone
But loneliness is not God’s plan for His people. From the very beginning, He declared that it is not good for us to be alone (Genesis 2:18). He designed us for community, where we can experience love, joy, accountability and service. He calls us to relationships that reflect His grace — marked not by abandonment, but by restoration.
Together, the church must prioritize forming real relationships, dialoguing through open conversations and guiding young people to discover their identity in Christ to combat this loneliness and find a deeper connection to God and those we do life with. While the crisis of loneliness is real, there is hope in Christ, and with the support of a loving community, our girls can find true belonging and healing.
God made His people to live in community, which is why loneliness can feel really painful. We shouldn’t shrug it off as unimportant — loneliness hurts and can take a real toll on one’s mental well-being. If your girl comes to you expressing feelings of loneliness, prompt her to consider how other girls might be feeling too! Encourage her to seek connection points and put herself out there at school or in extracurricular activities to forge new friendships with the girls she’s surrounded by each week. The risk — rejection (scary, but manageable with time). The reward — the potential for real, authentic community. Empower your girl to take the bold, potentially fruitful path forward.
Start at Home
And don’t forget — creating a culture of belonging starts at home. Fill her tank with affirmation language that solidifies the fact that your family is her first, “pre-programmed” authentic community. Phrases like “I love that you’re part of our family,” “I can’t imagine our family without you,” or “I love that you bring ___ to our family” are small, simple ways to remind her each day that she is not alone. Encourage your family to speak these truths to one another and build each other up!
Engaging youth in ongoing conversations about loneliness and isolation through a Biblical worldview perspective is key to helping them navigate these challenges with hope and a deeply rooted faith. Regularly discussing and modeling the importance of authentic community, along with grounding them in God’s Word so they can recall and apply it, will equip them to seek meaningful connections and stand firm in God’s Truth (even in a world that often feels disconnected, unwelcoming and lonely).
Parents have a vital role in modeling and cultivating this God-designed vision of connection. One of the most powerful ways you can do this is by helping your daughter find life-giving, Christ-centered friendships. Seek out spaces, like an American Heritage Girls (AHG) Troop, where she can grow spiritually, build meaningful relationships and learn how to love and serve others well.
Let us be intentional in showing our girls that loneliness doesn’t have to be their reality nor the end of their story. With God’s Truth as our foundation and a Christ-following community as our support, we can help them experience the joy of belonging and the beauty of meaningful connection.
Patti Garibay is the founder and executive director of American Heritage Girls, (AHG, www.AmericanHeritageGirls.org), a national Christ-centered leadership and character development program. For nearly three decades, AHG has been at the forefront of countering the culture by leading girls and women to create lives of integrity. Patti is the author of Why Curse the Darkness When You Can Light A Candle?, a story of trust and obedience to inspire those who desire to make Kingdom impact yet struggle with the fear of inadequacy. Patti is the host of the Raising Godly Girls (RGG) podcast and “Raising Godly Girls” one-minute radio feature which helps to equip, affirm and strengthen girls with timely Scripture-based advice.
For more Biblically sound insight and practical, applicable advice on helping your daughter navigate loneliness, explore the Raising Godly Girls Guide to Loneliness, presented by American Heritage Girls.
